"have you ever been in love?horrible,isn't it?it makes you so vulnerable.it opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up.you build up all these defenses.you build up this whole armor,for years, so nothing can hurt you,then one stupid person,no different from any other stupid person,wanders into your stupid life.you give them a piece of you.they don't ask for it.they do something dumb one day like kiss you,or smile at you,and then your life isn't your own anymore.love takes hostages.it gets inside you.it eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness,so a simple phrase like 'Maybe we should just be friends' or 'How very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.it hurts.not just in the imagination.not just in the mind.it's a soul-hurt,a body-hurt,a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.nothing should be able to do that.especially not love.i hate love."
metaphorically speaking,when i was younger i was the "Tom".'til i realized
that love never lasts.so i was then the "Summer".i swore to myself that i
would never say "i love you" unless i meant it.felt it.
my motto was always:
"never been in love 'til the day i die,and rock n'roll is
gonna keep me alive."
music was the only thing that i ever loved passionately.
little did i know that this year i would be saying those three words.
i never knew that once you said that,that it would be like giving
your soul away,or a big chunk of yourself.
love really is beautiful,but it also has its ugly sides.
it's painful,it shows no mercy,deceiving,and manipulative.
it's insane how words that a person tells you can change your life.
i never wanted to feel this way,but i am after all a human.
i have always been afraid of falling in love 'cos
i knew that if i were ever to commit myself to someone,that they
wouldn't commit themselves to me.and they would hurt me by leaving
like every other person that i cared for.
indeed it is like being underwater.
i will never take back the words i said.
'cos words are all i have...
a cynic like me should never be allowed to love someone like you...
xoxoSource URL: http://lifestyleartsblogs.blogspot.com/2010/02/turn-to-page-43-and-you-know-how-i-feel.html
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